Amicable Divorce

Let me start by saying that I've been through two divorces. The first one was without a doubt very hard. Maybe it was more your typical divorce; she was angry and was out to get as much as she could from me. I don't think that she was specifically vindictive, just very lazy and she wanted to guarantee her future without me in it - best way to do that is to take me to the cleaners - and she did.

Needless to say it did take many years for us to find that happy place where we could discuss the kids, chat with each other and just enjoy what we had without feeling vindictive and angry.

My second one is currently a work in progress, its very different for many reasons that I don't really want to go into here. However, this one is very amicable. In fact right up to t.....

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My Husband cheated on me

19 years of marriage and I just found out that my husband had been cheating on me.

The fact that he is cheating on me makes me feel mad, but who am i kidding? I haven't loved him for many years now and secretly I was kind of hoping that I could catch him in an affair maybe just so I would have an excuse to divorce him.

So, now my deepest darkest wish has come true, what am i supposed to do?  I'm left with a dilemma - is this what I really want? Do I want to leave him or do i like the security that this life is providing me with? Do I insist that he leave the house or do I try and work it out. What will happen if we separate? How do we explain this to the children, to my family?

So many questions and really no answers. I'm embarrassed to talk to my frien.....

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Turning my kids against me

My husband and I were married for about 20 years - for the most part we had a very good marriage. Together we had four boys who at the time of our divorce were aged 14 (twins), 12 and 9. In the years before our divorce he started to get verbally abusive to me in front of the boys. He would say things like, "look at your mother - she's so stupid, she can't understand basic problems". This went on for about 2 or three years before I realized that it was becoming a daily occurrence and I couldn't take it anymore.

When I stood up for myself he would get very angry at me and call me names. Always he would wait until the kids were there so that he could show me up in front of them.

Eventually I decided enough is enough and I was getting a divorce. Little did I know .....

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Should I Divorce?

This is a story with a moral!

One of the hardest things I've ever done in my life is get divorced. Not because of the logistics but because of the concern of what would happen to my children. What would they think of me should I divorce their mom? What would my family think? Would this be a better life for my children of a worse life? Will I still be an influence in their lives? These and many other questions went through my mind - not for a day or two, or a month or two but for those many years that I argued bitterly with their mom.

I must have known early on that this was not a good marriage, but it was what I had. I was there for my kids. But we argued and boy did we argue non-stop. We were like water and oil - absolutely nothing in common, no shared values, no share.....

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My Very personal story

I’m a 57-year-old lesbian I never thought I would be married much less divorced.   I didn’t get into a monogamous relationship until I was 38 years old.   Yesterday I was served with divorce papers and my estranged wife asked for sole custody of our two children.   We had agreed informally after our separation to have joint custody, split expenses for the children and not demand spousal support from one another nor enforce community property.

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